Tuesday, May 27, 2008

For a change

A woman came home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror stare at myself and repeat, "I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache." It worked! The headaches are all gone."

The husband replies, "Well, that's wonderful."

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minuts later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"

The husband say, "Don't move! I'll be right back."

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better that the first time. The wife sits up and her head was spinning.

Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife, She's not my wife, She's not my wife!"

His funeral services will be held on Monday. . .

Monday, May 26, 2008

Motivation tips?

You are you're own motivation. You know what your goal is, and what you have to do to get there. Maybe hang a dress or a shirt you're trying to get into where you can see it.

When I crave sweets, I have something spicy, or brush my teeth. It changes the direction of my taste buds really well. Using smaller plates can help you stop eating when you are full, or if you want to keep eating, eating something green, like beans or salad.

We all need to eat. but what drives the over eater to doing this in excess. you may want to check deeper into this. you may be depressed, stressed or harbor resentments toward yourself and others. if there were three things you could change about your life what would they be. DO IT FOR YOU.

Just think that if you don't get in shape you'll be getting fatter and fatter, and will get health problems. Think of an obease man shirtless at the pool with a hairy back. Do you want to be him? Think of an obease lady in the drive-through taking twenty minutes to make an order, because she is ordering everything. Do you want to be her? Think of a hot babe and you're getting aroused. Do you want the peace of mind that you can look down and know you can see your stand up guy? I do, is this not enough to motivate you to get in shape? If not, get an mp3 player and transfer your favorite songs onto it, it's easy to sing along to your songs and work out with it. It will take your mind off the workout and make time go by faster, it works for me.

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